Blame It On Gravity
by ezzelin
Summary: BL, 8059 pairing, T rated so far. Each of them is tormented by his secret, while they dance dangerously on the edge of the border where jokes become the truth.
1. Just Another Baseball Practice?

**Characters:** Gokudera Hayato & Yamamoto Takeshi

**Content: **Each of them is tormented by his secret, while they dance dangerously on the edge of the border where jokes become the truth.

**Tags:** shonen-ai, inner conflict

**Rating:** T so far

**Disclaimer:** Kateikyoushi Hitman Reborn and its characters belong to Akira Amane.

The scorching late spring sunrays focused and reflected off the bead of sweat that slowly trinkled down the tightened cheekbone of a certain baseball player as his gaze locked onto the patched off-white ball slashing through air at an amazing speed right towards him. Baseball was natural to him; he didn't need to struggle to keep his mind focused, to predict the path of the ball's trajectory, to calculate the angle at which to swing the bat, to concentrate his energy into the end of the bat he swung around vigorously – it was all natural to him, all instinct, or so to say, his notorious "gut-feeling". The game, the movement, the swings; it was all natural to him, while the other players of the Namimori middle school team went through rigorous training to achieve the same.

Well, it's not like Yamamoto would be left off the hook when it came to training. He never missed a single practice, and while his teammates were sweating their asses off on additional form training, he'd be facing mortal danger – or getting beaten by Squalo, which was pretty much the same.

_'thunk'_

And the ball flew, hit by Yamamoto's signature bat swing – a mixture of the classic baseball swing and shigure souen. The teen darted off to the first base, and then straight to the next, merely flicking his gaze over towards the sky for a moment, confirming that this would definitely be another home run.

"Sugoi, Yamamoto ... – that's the third one today already... – yeah, he's totally in the mood..."

His teammates couldn't help but wonder at his prowess – and search for the ball that flew far beyond the boundaries of the netted baseball field once again.

'_toink' _"Ouch!"

"Are? What was that..?" Yamamoto wondered as he heard a strange noise as if the ball had hit something hard, followed by what seemed like a muffled expression of pain.

"Oi, what is it, Yamamoto?"

One of the teammates approached him, noticing the frown forming on his face, distorting the always-smiling features of the star of the Namimori middle baseball team.

"Didn't you hear anything?"

"Huh? Nope, didn't hear a thing."

"I guess it's nothing then. Must've been my imagination," replied the baseball ace, scratching the back of his neck in slight embarrassment for imagining hearing voices, flashing one of his signature 100-watt smiles. "Anyway, let's search for the ball!"

Somehow, the raven-haired teen's elation inspired nearly everyone on the team just with his energetic words, and thus they dispersed into the jungle-looking bushes behind the court, navigating their way through the thick flora while the most exhausted of them stayed behind, taking advantage of the search to take some rest, chilling in the shadow and discussing the tactics for the upcoming game.

'_Geez, where did the ball go...? I knew I shouldn't have hit it that hard...'_

Without noticing, Yamamoto strayed away from the rest of his team, and deeper into the bushes, following the direction of the ball's flight until he was out of sight and, given the thick leafy curtains that surrounded him, most likely out of hearing range of the rest of the team as well. However, the deeper in he strayed, the more signs he could notice – signs that he is not the first one making his way through the thickness today. A freshly broken young branch here and there... a squished bug, with his entrails spluttered over the bark of a nearby tree... a half of a footprint in the mud that still persisted from the last shower the sky blessed them with... and even – _huh?_ –_ cigarette ashes?_

Suddenly, his instinct took over, and he could clearly sense the presence of another human being nearby. If he focused hard, he felt like he could even hear shallow breathing as if someone was almost next to him. Cautiously, he rotated his head, and located an opening that seemed to lead somewhere; the teen pushed several branches obstructing his view aside, and slowly made his way into a small clearing next to him. His heart was pounding with excitement, threatening to tear up his chest while his amber eyes focused on a young man leisurely stretched on the grass before him.

His heart skipped a beat as he recognised the silvery hair neatly clipped into a tiny ponytail.

"G-Gokudera?"

"Tch, seems you found me, yakyuu-baka," the bomber replied, tilting his head backwards to face his schoolmate who had so nonchalantly intruded into the secrecy of his hideout. His eyes were a perfect illustration of despise, the pool of olive green squished into narrow slits staring back at the intruder.

"Ah – um – I – what were you doing here, Gokudera?"

The startled raven-haired baseball player blurted out the first thing that crossed his mind, while flashing the juudaime-right-hand-man an unconvincing grin as a reply to his piercing gaze.

"I was going to have some sleep before you came to annoy me, yakyuu-baka," the storm guardian retorted back rapidly. If anyone, he certainly did ear his title – if not with his fierce fighting and his demolishing disposition, then surely with his stormy behaviour and retorts that would make anyone feel like a raging storm just passed the sky above them. No one, except the juudaime of course, was ever spared from his always raging anger once he let it loose. And that was, especially lately, rather frequently.

"By the way, you lost something, you jerk."

A rather familiar-looking battered baseball flew towards Yamamoto's head, while his hand instinctively reached out and caught it in a safe grip before it could make impact with his face and put his a-bit-over-hundred female fans into misery. The star of the Namimori middle school team suppressed could hardly suppress a grin, with the corners of his lips twitching upwards just minimally.

"So that's where it landed..." _'So that's what I've heard earlier...'_

"What are you smiling about, asshole? And what the hell are you still doing here? I'll blow you to pieces if you don't–"

"Fine, fine, I'm already gone," replied Yamamoto apologetically to the furious threats of his classmate as he retreated backwards into the thick bushes, all the while with his amber eyes locked on the silver-mane fighter lying temptingly in the clearing.

His twitching corners stretched into a sincere smile once he left Gokudera's sight, a smile of true happiness; and yet, there was a tingling bittersweet taste to it.

However, the sight of this afternoon kept popping in his mind for the rest of the day persistently. After all, the training sessions with Reborn and Squalo did have some effect on Yamamoto's behaviour even in non-life-threatening situations. For one, he didn't left his guard down and, more importantly, always observed his surroundings closely as well. Nothing escaped his attention – especially not the carefully made clearing in the branches allowing one a perfect view of the baseball court while remaining unseen, and a patch of grass right before it that Gokudera tried to hide with his body, stamped flat by someone's knees.

'_Hm... I wonder... since when is Gokudera into baseball...?'_


	2. His Sanctuary

The update of the first chapters is gonna be a bit faster since I have them mostl written out, just need to type them and expand a bit... so here's the second chapter, short but sweet. Gokudera's POV this time, I'll be switching it a bit in this fanfic to go enough in-depth with both of them. Hope you like it, reviews are mighty welcome.

* * *

_'Tch… that yakyuu-baka… at least he didn't notice I've been watching…'_

Gokudera could never forgive himself for being so reckless if Yamamoto would find out his secret... but again, he found himself incapable to restrain himself from coming here day after day, watching the rain guardian's every practice, observing his muscles strain as he kept throwing, hitting, catching and running with such an amazing energy that never seemed to run out. He could tell that the raven-haired teen was the driving force of the Namimori middle baseball team; not only was he currently the best player on the team, but his energy, excitement and endeavours inspired everyone else to do their best as well, and gave them hope and elation to do better than they even thought they could. And... after the practice, he would change his shirt in the setting sun, revealing his lightly tanned athletically sculptured torso glistening with tiny pearl-like beads of sweat...

In the secure shelter of the trees and bushes, Gokudera's cheeks turned a light pinkish-red shade as another practice passed with him hiding in the shadows. The lines of his eyes softened at the sight of his favourite baseball player undressing in the sun, and as a silent gasp escaped his lips after forcing them to part, the corners of his mouth curved into a bittersweet smile.

A sight only the privacy of his secret hideout ever witnessed.

'_Dammit, Yamamoto... yakyuu-baka...'_

He hated his guts for making him feel that way.

To feel something so _wrong_, something that would never be accepted by his family, something that will always be looked down on... something that would cause most of the people to avert their eyes in disgust and call him a freak of nature... _'What would the juudaime say if he knew I held such feeling for that yakyuu-baka...?'_

He _hated_ him, hated from the bottom of his heart for rousing this _unnatural_ desire in him, this longing for those luscious lips that stretched into one of those gleaming smiles that always made his day... this crawling for a single touch of his tanned silky soft skin covering, this sick desire to have his strong arms wrapped around himself...

He _hated_ him, hated for making him _love_ him.

The silver-mane bomber averted his eyes from the subject of his affection who was leaving the court, bathing bashfully in the warm light of the sun diving behind the horizon, painting the world in the most enticing shades of orange and red. He tried his best to hide the grimace of pain that forced his way onto his face, and covered it up with anger before he left his sanctuary. If not for anything else, at least his signature hateful expression was useful for covering up his torment.


	3. The Phone Rings

Super-quick update once again... This time, Yamamoto's POV mostly (switching to Gokudera for a moment somewhere in between). I'm starting to realise it's far easier for me to write in Gokudera's POV, a bit of a surprise to me tbh. And yes, you can see now that Gokudera's love is not unrequited, he merely thinks so... I'm really not _that_ mean to make him suffer through unrequited love :P

Next chapter coming up in a day or two, it's a bit longer finally – explaining the science homework. Can you guess which one of the laws of physics is troubling Yamamoto? :P

The time was always passing by too quickly.

And Yamamoto, after two hours still almost literally tearing up his mind with a science problem, felt as if the clock hanging on the wall next to him would absolutely and utterly hate him, running twice as fast as normally. There was no way he could finish his homework in time _and_ get some sleep tonight – even worse, they were having a test coming in two days, and his knowledge was still far below expected. Damnit, if at least he hadn't been so tired from the baseball practice... They had practice twice per day now, due to the upcoming match – the regionals of the middle school national cup were coming up, and this was his last chance to be a part of the winning team. The victory evaded them by a margin last year, and now in his senior year, he was made the captain of the team, and promised to lead them to victory. But he's been training and worrying about it so much he hardly had any sleep, and the consequence was passing out into deep slumber in the middle of the class.

He sighed loudly and let his head fall onto the notebook. There was no way he could manage to solve this, especially when he didn't understand what it was all about due to his sleeping in class.

"Giving up already, Takeshi?"

A strong yet warm and homey voice nudged the raven-haired teen to lift up his head again. His father, knowing how hard he's been pushing himself lately, brought him some sushi and a large glass of milk – a little help for the little grey cells, as he liked to call it.

"Mmmh... I can't even understand the problem..." his son replied truthfully, his face betraying he had already given up all hope of getting his assignment done today. However, with his father bringing him food and expressing his support, he couldn't just call it quits, even if the sushi master could already see it in his eyes.

"Why not call that clever friend of yours, Takeshi? What was his name... _Gokuaku_*?

The son chuckled lightly at his father's memorizing of the names – however, a tiny flame of hope lit up his eyes, pools of swirling milk chocolate. "I'll see if he's home... thanks for the food, dad."

The father, already retreating to the kitchen, waved his left in reply, and disappeared around the corner. He was glad he could be of help to his child, even if it was just a bit; and to have given him an idea that lit up hope in his eyes, already admitting defeat before. Only, he was misunderstanding the source and the meaning of that spark that flamed up the inside of the teen.

As far as it was true that Gokudera would certainly be _able_ to help – if he was willing as well, was another matter altogether – Yamamoto's sudden eagerness had nothing to do with his science homework.

The baseball ace was thrilled at the thought of Gokudera explaining him the laws of physics once again – for one, he could understand things through his explanation, and moreover... he would be able to watch those lustful lips move, twitch and scream at him. In the privacy of the empty hallway, Yamamoto let the blood rushing to his face paint his cheeks tomato-red.

Even if it meant the silver-haired bomber threatening to put dynamite up his ass or shove it down his throat, calling him various insulting nicknames or even punching him – he'd have the pleasure of watching him closely and simply being alone with him. For that, he'd endure anything.

The telephone rang. And rang. And rang...

'_Maybe...he's out...? Seems I've been relishing too soon...'_

Yamamoto was just about to hang up when the phone was rather brutally picked up on the other side, and an irritated voice, between two heavy breaths, nearly yelled at him: "Yes?"

"Um, hi, Gokudera, it's Yamamoto," replied the excited teen, flashing one of his 100-watt smiles, for a moment forgetting he can't seen that over the phone wire.

"Ah, it's you, yakyuu-baka. What do you want at this hour? I was just having a shower..."

Yamamoto was just about to reply and explain his problem when the worlds stuck in his throat due to his brain catching up to his hearing. Gokudera in a shower... certainly a sight he'd love to see, and the storm guardian's comment made his vivid imagination fly. In his imaginary world, the air would be thick with steam, a translucent veil that hardly provided any obscurement of silver-haired teen's body... water slowly trickling down his back, diving into streams that caress the pale skin, curving their path according to the shape of the teen's lean posture... This time, the raven-haired teen was thanking all the gods he could remember for the the fact that his friend can't see his face now; and it took him quite an effort to soothe down the violent blush and concentrate enough as to not blurt out something stupid he'd regret later.

"Well, I was wondering if Gokudera is busy... See, there's this science problem I really don't get, and Gokudera always explains it so well..."

He didn't dare to ask too directly, and as he finally uttered a vague expression of asking for help, he fell silent, waiting for a response from the other side of the line.

A few seconds passed, with Gokudera taking his time to think – even though he already knew exactly what his answer would be from the beginning, he had to make it seem he's hesitating and making this as a big favour. Naturally, he couln't refuse an invitation for being able to watch the subject of his affection without having to hide in the bushes like some stalker; and actually, he really loved explaining things to him. He'd look so confused at first, and then he'd curl up his forehead in numerous tiny creases as if thinking intensely (which, incidentally, Gokudera thought was super-cute although he'd rather die than admit it); but the best part was when he'd beam happily at him after understanding, rewarding him with a truly sincere smile.

However, he had to act as if it was all a big favour to the rain guardian, and that he was only doing it for juudaime's sake. Maybe he was overdoing it, but after all, he can't have anyone uncovering his secret.

And thus, with a sigh and a shower of insults mostly related to the lack of brain cells in the head of his always smiling schoolmate, he agreed.

"But don't you imagine anything, yakyuu-baka. I'm only doing this because juudaime asked me to help you."

"Hai, hai," agreed Yamamoto happily. _'As long as you're coming here, everything's fine.'_

He put down the phone, and let the merry grin dance across his face, making him shine with an aura of pure happiness as he never did in front of others, when he was flashing his signature smiles to everyone. No, this smile was just for Gokudera.

And he was on his way.

'_Even if it's just for the juudaime...'_

Instantly, his face darkened, and the gleam in his eyes died out, instead filling them with unspoken pain.

'_Even if it's _always _just for the juudaime...'_

*_gokuaku_ = heinous


	4. The Laws of Physics

Yay, new chapter! :P Thank you for the lovely reviews (now I can actually use plural here XD), I'm doing my best to live up to your expectations :3 And, I'm afraid I've gotten just a bit OOC with them in this chap, but hell, let's call it character insight XD

Anyway, enjoy reading, and keep tuned for more.

**Chapter four: The Laws of Physics**

Twenty minutes or so later, Gokudera entered Yamamoto's place in his favourite skull-printed shirt thrown casually over a red T-shirt and black pants. It wasn't his first time at Yamamoto's, although he had never been in the residential part of the family restaurant. His heart was thumping much louder than he'd like, and he was covering up his nervousness by wearing and even more intimidating expression than normally. Naturally, that resulted in people moving panicky out of the delinquent-looking teen's way – a red alarm to the chef Yamamoto, who rushed in to direct his son's friend to Takeshi's room.

Even though Gokudera's looks scared his costumers, the sushi chef liked him coming around or simply hanging out with his son – because Takeshi seemed a different person altogether when he was with him. Something like that could not escape a watchful father's eye, even if he misunderstood his son's feelings. For that, he was not to blame, having been raised in a rather traditionalistic manner, thus being robbed of the ability to even as much as consider his successor to have such feelings for a _man_. However, that Takeshi literally glowed around Gokudera was an undeniable fact, and as long as he could see his son that happy, he didn't mind a delinquent chain smoker coming 'round.

Gokudera, following the directions of the sushi chef, quietly moved through the corridors of Yamamoto's house. He observed the scarce yet marvellously beautiful decoration in traditional Japanese style, and wondered how many times had the rain guardian darted across these hallways... His fingers traced the entrances of the rooms he passed, touching the same things the baseball ace did before him gently... He breathed in deeply, taking in the atmosphere of his friend's house, and trying to locate his scent out of the mixture of warm and homey fragrances.

Composing back his normal intimidating expression, Gokudera knocked twice before opening the door he was told led to his friend's room.

"Oi, yakyuu-baka..."

He stopped in his tracks, forgetting what insult was he about to spit out as his raven-haired classmate beamed a wide smile at him – for some reason, it seemed that the smiles he gave him in the rare moments the two of them were alone were somewhat different that the ones he was flashing around normally. As if... as if this was his true smile, not a mere façade; as if he'd be actually happy... Gokudera's inner self shook his head violently. _'There's no way he could be happy to see me, not with the way I treat him...'_ And yet, the smiles he received when they were alone were always so enchanting that they robbed him of his words if he let his guard down just a bit.

He cleared his throat and furrowed his eyebrows in an angry-teacher-like-manner – which only mase Yamamoto chuckle in amusement, and effect rather opposite of the desired.

"What are you laughing about, yakyuu-baka? Does your lack of brain cells prevents you from understanding what happens if shove this up your ass?" The silver-haired A-grade student waved with a stick of his always present dynamite before collapsing down to sit next to Yamamoto, still spitting insulting comments.

Even though he kept bashing and throwing insults at the raven-haired teen, at least he was consistent.

Always, without a single exception, he'd say exactly the opposite of what he truly wanted to say, and did the converse of what he wished to do. It might've been a bit rough method, but it worked so far. Not once had his words or actions betrayed his feelings towards the rain guardian; and every single facial expression that could expose his softer side was perfectly covered up with anger, frustration, hate and violence.

Of course, he didn't like it himself. After all, acting this way towards Yamamoto when what he wanted was exactly the opposite... It was killing him.

But he knew no other way.

"So, what's the problem?" he finally asked with a sigh, pretending to be suffering through thus for the juudaime's sake while his emerald eyes traced the line of the other's male's cheekbone and hungrily watched his soft lips gently part and move as he spoke.

"Well, I managed to solve most of it; I just really don't get problem number four. Gravity," Yamamoto explained, scratching the back of his neck in slight embarrassment.

"Tch, you really are an asshole... that's easy," replied Gokudera grumpily while taking the assignment paper from his grasp. The backs of their hands brushed against each other lightly, sending a confusing swirl through his already trying-hard-to-focus-on-physics mind. _'If it wasn't for the idiot next to me, it'd been way easier to explain this...'_

He had to reread the task since he had finished the homework in a matter of a few minutes, and never bothered with such meaningless details such as actually paying attention to the exact wording of the task, not to mention memorizing what it was about. However, a few glances over the text were enough for him to form the answer in his head – now he just needed to simplify it and formulate it so that the yakyuu-baka would understand.

All in all, he had to admit the baseball freak wasn't such an idiot; he needed much less explanations than the juudaime ever did, and required less simplifying. But what he needed were real-life examples, which sometimes proved a bit of a problem.

"Okay, let's see... hmm... You see, when an apple falls down from the tree..."

"Uh, it hits the ground and rots?"

Gokudera facepalmed.

And regretted it the next moment, because it prevented him from seeing Yamamoto's confused face trying to figure it out.

"No, that's a shitty example. Tch, it's your fault for being such an idiot that I need to come up with real-life examples. And–"

He looked like he was getting really pissed off, while his schoolmate merely kept smiling back.

"–if you interrupt me again, I'll shove dynamite down your throat."

"Maa, maa, don't get mad, Gokudera. I'll be quiet and listen now. See?"

His fingers reached to his mouth and traced the midline of his lips, imitating the closing of a zipper.

"... my lips are sealed."

Gokudera turned away for a moment, afraid that he might be given away by the blood he felt rushing to his cheeks, but seemed to manage to suppress the blush.

'_Dammit, Yamamoto, you're not making this easier...'_

"Look, every object with a certain mass influences other objects with a certain gravitational field; and, depending on the mass of the second object and the distance between them, they attract each other with a certain force – that's the gravitational pull," explained Gokudera scientifically, keeping his eyes focused on and invisible spot on the floor as he spoke.

"Hmm... mass... field... mass and distance... pull..." Yamamoto kept muttering under his breath, curling up his forehead into countless tiny creases in his effort to understand what he's just been told.

For a moment, Gokudera flicked his gaze to the raven-haired youth next to him – and found himself unable to focus on anything else than the cutest expression he had ever seen.

"Sorry... I don't really understand that," sighed Yamamoto in defeat. He truly worked his brain hard to get it, since he didn't want to bother the silver-haired genius next to him and also... he wanted him to see the best of him, but he was simply unable to comprehend such an abstract explanation.

"Tch... your brain cells must feel really lonely in that empty head of yours."

As always, Gokudera would spit out insults while at the same time what he wanted the most was to ruffle his hair, caress that worrying face and tell him it was allright, kiss him and do his homework instead... wouldn't that, after all, buy him time – enough that he could even spend some with him...? _'Stop thinking nonsense'_, he told himself and snapped back to reality.

"Look, take for example –"

A single idea pierced him mind – so simple, and yet somewhat convenient. Enticing and tempting, it throbbed un-ignorable in his head until he complied – _'Hell, why not?'_

"– take for example us, sitting here. Although you can't feel it, there is a force between us, a gravitational pull."

'_Although you can't feel it, I do.'_

"It depends on our masses and on the distance between us –"

'_The closer we are, the closer to you I want to be.'_

"– see, like this, in linear correlation with both of the masses, and inversely correlated with the square of the distance."

'_Rather exponentially, I'd say, and mass has nothing to do with it.'_

He wrote down the expression for gravitational force, adding the constant of 6,673∙10-11 m3kg-1s-2 and explaining all of the quantities in it, their meaning and effect.

The intimidating bomber had to focus hard on keeping his face straight, or to be more precise, not to reflect the gleaming smile that lit up his classmate's face, announcing his understanding.

"I see... so, if I move like this –"

He daringly positioned himself closer, now less than half an inch to Gokudera, their bodies parallel along the entire length, as if reflecting each other in a mirror. He could feel the heat of his body, and inhale the wafting scent of his silver-haired schoolmate...

"– then the pull between us increases inversely with the decrease in distance. Must be a pretty strong force, huh, Gokudera?"

'_You have no idea,'_ was what the asked thought, but naturally, the answer that escaped his mouth through clenched teeth was far more brusque.

"Asshole."

Rapidly, he stood up, turning away to hide his flushed face, and hurrying over to the door. He couldn't bear this anymore... it was a like a never-ending nightmare, just as if – as if Yamamoto knew _everything_ and was playing with him like a cat with its prey... but could that idiot really muster that much wit?

"I see you understand now, see you –"

he retorted quickly, making his way out of the room, leaving the battlefield. He knew his façade was close to collapsing, and he couldn't let that yakyuu-baka see him like that.

"Wait, Gokudera –"

He knew he was unstoppable the way he rushed to the door. He crossed the line... again. Made him feel uncomfortable. _'Who wouldn't be, a guy moving to sit so close to him like he was trying to seduce him...?'_

"– thank you –"

was all that he managed to force through before the door slammed behind the waterfall of silver hair.

The baseball freak, left alone in his room again, felt the emptiness suddenly press down on him – with Gokudera gone, it was like the world became all blank and colourless...

"– thank you... Hayato."

Silent whisper escaped his barely parted lips as his head tilted downwards like the world was just taken from him. He pulled up his legs and wrapped his arms around himself protectively, curling up in a defensive crouch before closing his eyes in dismay.

'_Even if you hate me... thanks for bearing with me... even if it's just..._

_...for the juudaime.'_

His arms twitched at the thought, and tightened the grip around his body.

'_...as if the pain would come from the outside...'_

He laughed bitterly at what an idiot he was, falling for a guy like Gokudera Hayato, the intimidating-juudaime-right-hand-bomber-man.

xXx

The gloomy streets of Namimori were empty and dead-silent.

However, a certain silver-haired young male running wildly through the narrow alleys failed to notice that; neither did he notice tiny bright yellow canary-like bird sitting on a wire above him, or the curious gaze of a certain fuchsia-haired young lady – that, incidentally, knew him way better than he thought – lurking in a gloomy dead end he just passed. Hell, he could hardly focus on getting home.

As soon as Gokudera shut his front door behind him, he collapsed to the floor, panting heavily from his run all the way here from Yamamoto's place.

'_That... bastard...'_

His fist connected with the wall opposite to him, venting his anger in a blow too strong for the bomber to endure without grimacing in pain or letting out a silent hiss. However, the physical pain seemed to dull his emotions a bit, to numb the torment inside...

'_...toying with me and then playing innocent...'_

Another hit shook the wall. And damn, it felt good.

How he hated it all. Acting so tough and rough... always masking himself behind violence... He was sick of it all. He couldn't stand it anymore... Couldn't stand always spitting insults when he wanted to tell him how he made him froze with that sunny smile; always glaring at him with a murderous aura when he wanted to smile and laugh with him; always averting his gaze when the desire to crash passionately against those lips twitching, moving in all directions at the same time as he spoke, became undendurable; always hitting him when he wanted so bad to pull his body next to his, hold him in his arms and whisper nonsense in his ear...

By morning, there was a hole in the wall.


	5. The Day After

First of all, thank you for the lovely comments, they've been a great encouragement to keep writing this - I felt like giving up like ten times this chapter. Seriously, it's been killing me. That's most likely the reason the coherency isn't as good as it could be at certain places... That's Yamamoto's fault! XD No, really, it's way harder for me to write in his POV than in Gokudera's... Well, here it is anyway, please bear with me through this emo-stage of both of them, I promise to at least insert random accidental fluff moments :3

**Chapter five: The Day After**

Dawn broke through the unveiled windows, the first rays of the early morning sun sliding across raven black hair, caressing the lines of their owner's face and slowly prying his amber eyes open until the young man sprawled against the wall finally gave in. It was still far too early for school and he was still sleepy, not to mention his entire body was sore from sleeping curled up sitting on the floor.

His eyes traced the rays that roused him to their source, marvelling at the stunning sight of the Earth's nearest star spilling its soothing light slowly over the horizon, driving away the inky blue of the nightsky, painting the few clouds with radiant orange.

It took several seconds for realisation to hit him, to remember the reason why he had spent the night sprawled against the wall – and instantly, the reflection of the bright coloured sky in the pools of his sincere eyes faded to its dark negative. Had the silver-haired male whose presence still lingered in the room seen the unspoken longing swirling within regret and torment in his eyes now, he'd understood; but Yamamoto would never let him see anything but his best smile, even when he felt like screaming in anguish for having to keep his distance, and for suffering through all the insults and punches.

Before he knew, the baseball ace was fully dressed and out of his house, with more than an hour still left before school. He kept losing himself in the memory of yesterday evening, wondering whether had he truly crossed the line this time. Was Gokudera already suspecting him, or merely dismissing him as an annoying pervert? No matter what the case was, it was likely he'll be even more reserved towards him than normal.

His wandering brought him to the street where his beloved lived – it seemed like his feet knew well enough what dwelled in his heart, and where his longing led to. Considering his options briefly, he paced up and down the pavement, hands buried deep inside his pockets and face snuggled in the collar of his shirt.

However, it didn't take too long for his eagerness to know how badly had the yesterday's events screwed up their already fragile and stormy relationship to win over his worries, and he found himself in a half-obscured place where he could wait unseen for the storm guardian to show up and then 'accidentally' run into him.

His plan worked perfectly; Gokudera was too absent-minded to notice the lean posture of the sportsman half-hiding behind a nearby tree, and merely hurried along the road towards Tsuna's house to pick up the juudaime just like every single morning. Yamamoto hesitated for a moment, then jogged lightly after his silver-haired classmate as if he'd just happened to cross his street and notice him.

"Good morning, Gokudera!"

His brightest smile was etched on his face to greet the juudaime-right-hand-man, while his mind threatened to blow up with anxiety – what will become of their already unstable and mostly one-sided friendship? How badly had he screwed up?

However, the reaction was unlike anything he'd expect.

"Mornin'," came the silent answer.

Yamamoto stared at his classmate in shock. No yakyuu-baka, asshole, jerk, blockhead, imbecile, mindless cretin or _anything_. He simply greeted back, not even making a grimace, or bothering to furrow his eyebrows in a threatening expression – no, absolutely nothing. Hell, he didn't even seem to notice the awkwardness of meeting him here.

Something was wrong, _very_ wrong.

Not only his gut feeling, but the blatant facts proved that clearly. He had never once in his life seen Gokudera that spaced out.

Daring a closer peek at the bomber's face since he didn't seem to be reacting or threatening to blow him up, the baseball freak noticed dark rings staining the silky-soft pale skin, circling the stormy olive green eyes that now looked rather hazy.

"Gokudera, are you all right?" he asked, maybe a tad too worriedly – but the addressed didn't seem to be paying attention to the undertone.

"Ah," was all that escaped the lips he longed so hard for, but knew they were not his to claim.

They kept walking in silence towards Tsuna's house; Yamamoto didn't dare to interrupt the silence again and was now biting his lip, suppressing back the numerous questions about his classmate's health and well-being while he listened to his even breathing. Damn, he was too worried to enjoy the company and relish in the mere two inches that separated them as they walked the streets alone.

'_Could this be... the effect of yesterday...? Is _this_ ... my fault...?'_

_Or ... did something else happen to him...?'_

Panic started gripping him as they approached the all too well-known porch, and laid their eyes upon the homey-looking façade of their friend's house, and Gokudera still haven't mouthed a single word or changed his stoic expression.

'_What would happen if Tsuna sees him like that...?'_

However, all his worries turned out to be baseless – for, as soon as Tsuna answered the doorbell with his classic shit-we're-gonna-be-late-again-what-will-happen-if-hibari-san-gets-us expression, Gokudera seemed to be his normal self once again. That is, at least on the surface. Beaming at Tsuna, he literally dragged him towards school, spitting a shower of insults at a group of innocent first-years that happened to be in his way, and recklessly attempted to fill them with dynamite when they didn't move fast enough, which their mild-natured bearer of the Vongola sky ring successfully prevented once again.

'_...heh, I guess Tsuna was all he needed...'_ the raven-haired sportsman thought bitterly. _'Juudaime here, juudaime there... always just the juudaime...'_ Of course, that wasn't anything new to him – and yet, it still hurt every time the blatantly obvious signs forced him tore-realise it regretfully.

'_While Tsuna can make him laugh by just appearing... I couldn't even make him as much as yell at me.'_

He had always known the situation was hopeless. A love triangle, just like in those Spanish-Brazilian-Venezuelan-and-whatnot-soup-operas, the ones that knew only three different scenes – crying, screaming about their love and emotions, and getting killed. He loved Gokudera, Gokudera had his eyes only for Tsuna, and Tsuna was after Kyoko. The only thing that kept giving him hope was the way the girl reacted to the kind-hearted teen – in his honest opinion, it was just a matter of time the two would end up together. Of course, that would leave the juudaime-right-hand-man heartbroken, but maybe... Maybe, if he kept waiting, and then when the time would be right, just kept near him, being there for him... comforting him... then maybe... maybe there was still hope; hope that the heart-broken Gokudera would simply get used to him being around, and start to feel comfortable around him... and maybe, if the time was right, accepted him as a replacement.

'_Even if just once, I want to be the one that makes you smile.'_

xXx

It was as if the sky liked the day before so much that it decided to reproduce all the same conditions; once again, the clear sky devoid of all clouds was lit up by the radiant star that provided the conditions for life on this planet, scorching the inhabitants of it as they were some annoying bugs you'd love most to just disappear.

School just ended, and Tsuna disappeared with Reborn immediately after class, the infant dragging him along, explaining mid-run that they had some serious studying to do for the science test the day after tomorrow. He certainly did always choose the best moments to live up to his role as the former-no-good-Tsuna home tutor.

As Yamamoto waved them goodbye, he noticed their silver-haired friends with the looks and attitude of a delinquent leaning against the robust fence surrounding the Namimori Middle School. The moment the juudaime's attention wasn't on him, he'd go to the same absent-minded stoic-looking state he'd been in since morning; up to this point, it became clear to the baseball ace that his normal behaviour in front of Tsuna was merely façade he put up in order not to worry the juudaime. He admired the storm guardian for that, for being so strong for the one that was special to him; and yet, the fact that he was the _only_ _one_ Gokudera deemed important enough burned him inside like heated iron ready for marking cattle.

He wanted to walk up, lean next to him onto that fence, and make him share what was troubling him. But he knew better; surely, Gokudera wouldn't share his problems with someone as him, and... no matter how hard it was to admit, it was probably better to just leave him alone to straighten things out by himself, as he had always done.

'_He's too hard on himself... he always was... not relying on others... just doing everything on his own...'_

He knew that was his way, and that he probably knew no better, since he'd lived so far like this... For the time being, it was better for Yamamoto to try to forget that troubled face adorned with strands of loose silvery hair and focus on baseball instead. Actually, he _should_ be worrying a lot more about baseball than that octopus head, with the regionals coming up and one of the more reliable players having sprained his ankle yesterday... today was the day they were trying out the replacement. Today would determine if they still had chances of getting through to the national championship finals.

With a sigh, he retreated to the baseball court, trying to focus on that battered stitched-up ball while stealing glances towards Gokudera whenever he could.

He took a pause to observe the recruit they were trying out. He wasn't anything special in terms of agility, or speed, or strength, or technical knowledge or anything actually. Just another average player, with an average percentage of hits and misses, one who'll maybe once or twice in a lifetime manage to hit a homerun. He could estimate his prowess in a few glances, the tryouts were unnecessary. They'll have to train him to insanity if they want to get through the preliminaries...

Yamamoto's mind strayed away once again, as he took a few away from the field, seemingly looking away, resting his gaze on the silhouette of the school, while stealing a glance towards Gokudera. Funny though, he seemed to be standing closer than before. But there was no evidence of him having moved, so the baseball ace dismissed the thought.

Just as he was about to return to the field, a speeding object came into his view – _a baseball bat?_

'_Did that idiot just manage to _throw_ the bat?'_

A split second later, realisation hit him.

Gokudera was directly in the path of the thrown bat, and his mind was nowhere even close to reality. There was no way he'd notice it in time.

He knew he had to act fast. The processing of information in his brain, and his instinctual reaction were lightning fast, and as he bolted towards his friend it seemed like the entire world slowed down as if played half-speed. Just in time, he reached Gokudera, and acting the only way he knew would get him out of the bat's way, flung himself towards the bomber, gripping him around the waist tightly, making them fall to the ground together, their sun-heated bodies collapsing against each other.

For a few moments, they both disappeared from sight in a cloud of dust. As the light breeze whipped the air around them clear, a rather strange sight surprised Yamamoto's teammates. Sure, they cheered happily as their captain saved an innocent bystander from certain death-by-baseball-bat, but couldn't suppress feeling a bit weird about the situation.

After all, for a few seconds, they could all witness Yamamoto clinging to Gokudera with his eyes closed, arms clutched tightly around the other male's waist, his body arched over the lean posture of the silver-haired teen in a protective manner. Their captain, protecting and holding down another male with his body as if it the world depended on it, and both of them, as if frozen in that awkward protective embrace for a few long seconds.

The saviour's mind wasn't really functioning properly. All he could focus on was the lean body temptingly sprawled underneath him, and the fact that the storm guardian was safe. He knew their position was weird enough already, and that he had to restrain himself from doing anything to worsen it; only that took most of his brain capacity. But he was unable to let go as well.

Then, for the first time that day, the swirling pools of jade focused on him, and met his gaze; it seemed like the inquiring eyes were asking him '_Why? Why did you save me?'_

But before the raven-haired teen could answer, the spell was broken, and Gokudera shove him away, hissing "get off me, yakyuu-baka" hoarsely, leaving the school grounds as if in a hurry.

Once again, he was left alone after a situation he felt he might've gone too far.

However, this time, there were those few seconds of that utterly confused look on the face adorned with silver that could not comprehend why someone the likes of the stormy bomber would be saved by the always-smiling baseball star of the school.

Waving his surprised teammates goodbye, Yamamoto left the court as well. He had enough for today. He couldn't concentrate on baseball anyway, and was no use for the team. The only good he was for today, was saving Gokudera... a tiny smile made his way to his lips, curling up the corners of his mouth just a bit.

Today was a good day. Saving Gokudera... he never thought he'd ever had that opportunity... and it felt like the best thing he'd ever done.


	6. A Hole In The Wall

**Chapter six: A Hole In The Wall**

"There's a hole in your wall."

The velvety voice resonated in his head as the meaning of words said slowly made its way towards his little grey cells that seemed to have resigned their post for the time being. He didn't have the time nor will to deal with anyone besides himself right now; damn, he wasn't even capable of thinking straight.

"I know," came the laconic answer.

'_The one in the wall is not the only one, though.'_

His sister's eyes scanned him closely through the orange-tinted glasses she was wearing to avoid causing further discomfort to the little silvery-headed brother. For a few moments, her face resembled so much her brother's intimidating gaze that despite the several obvious differences in appearance and attitude no one would ever doubt they were siblings.

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

There was something far from casual in her voice, despite the fact they were discussing meaningless damage that could be easily repaired, and actually occurred on a regular basis. Broken windows, blasted walls, shattered bricks, punctured roof... all that was nothing new. And yet, this certain minor damage to the otherwise spotless white wall of the hallway seemed to bother her immensely, unlike any sight of demolition up to now.

Her silver-haired brother lowered his head, and let the now loose glistening strands fall over his face in a waterfall of reflecting light.

"Same as always. Put some kit over it, and paint it. It's gonna disappear like it never happened."

She closed the gap between them in a few determined paces, and took his chin in an iron grip, lifting his head up to face her almost violently. A fierce expression lit up her face, unlike anything you'd expect in such a situation. Even with the orange goggles that interrupted the sharp lines exhibiting her intransigent attitude, the expression etched on her face was a formidable display of unbending will and determination, as well as a tiny tinge of worry that clouded the burning gaze of her emerald eyes.

'_Why'd she get that upset over a dint in the wall..?'_

Confusion appeared on Hayato's face, only fuelling his sister's anger. In a normal situation, he'd surely be spitting back retorts by now, and asking what the hell was wrong with her – but something in her face made the words stop in his throat, before they could form into anything audible.

"You can't just cover it up and pretend nothing ever happened...!"

She was almost screaming now, and at such a short distance, it proved rather painful to his eardrums.

However, the delinquent-looking teen still refused to understand what the true object of her wrath mingling with worrisome pain was, and was merely getting more and more confused, still focusing on the dint that _seemed_ to be the problem discussed.

Finally, he managed to force air up his throat and past his vocal cords, mouthing at least a bit of his thoughts even though his sister's expression robbed him of his disrespectful attitude.

"Why are you making such a fuss... it's just a dint, it's not like it's the first time something like that happened..."

It sounded like there was more coming, but he never got the chance to utter another word, since his sister ruthlessly cut him off.

"Hayato... don't treat me like an idiot. I'm talking about the reason for that dint."

Her voice was perfectly calm now, to the point of freezing cold, even sounding a bit threatening at first – and yet, it turned out somewhat soothing in the end. He was her brother after all. If he thought he could hide something like that from her, he was mistaken.

The addressed couldn't utter as much as a word. Could she really have known about _that_ – or was she just bluffing...? He had always been so careful not to give himself away, so cautious to not let anything slip, there was no way, absolutely no way she could have... and yet, the knowing look in her eyes pierced through him as knives.

He was breaking, his mask was cracking, and he knew it.

"Hayato, you... love him, don't you?" she asked softly.

The jade green eyes that perfectly reflected hers widened in shock and... _fear?_ Never had anyone witnessed the eyes of the storm guardian to express fear or anxiety – not even in the most gloomy-looking battles, not when the juudaime's life was at risk, not when he himself seemed to be as good as dead, matched against an opponent far beyond his league; no, never once before had Gokudera Hayato shown such a panicked expression.

And yet, here it was – widened eyes, fighting back the salty humid that he had already forgotten it was called tears, softly shaking body, trembling with pain and _fear_; fear of losing everyone because of these silly unreasonable feelings he had... fear of everyone he cherished turning his back on him... fear of being rejected... again.

His chin slipped out of his sister's vicegrip as he nodded in defeat, his gaze downcast and obscured with a veil of liquid slowly protruding out those pools of green that struggled to hide those treacherous tears.

A moment of silence passed, and then a simple question, spoken matter-of-factly.

"And what are you going to do about it?"

It took him several seconds to grasp the meaning of those words, and capture the inquiring and yet caring, almost encouraging sound of it as if the question itself was urging him to act the way his heart aspired to- _'But what is she expecting me to do anyway?'_ There was nothing that could be done except going on like he'd been going so far. Pretending he never felt anything. Pushing him away. Acting in perfect discord with his wishes. Denying his feelings and needs.

There was no other way, simply no other way for him...

If anyone knew about it... he didn't even want to imagine.

The juudaime would surely never want to see him again... so much for the right-hand-man of the young Vongola Boss... And the others, it was only natural they'd reject him. The mafia, the Vongola, the famiglia, the concept of the Guardians itself – everything was based on _tradition_. He was expected to follow the tradition, to nurture it and aid to its rise in another generation of young guardians – _in every single aspect._

His feelings... were not something the traditionalist-minded world would easily accept. Here, his battle record and fighting prowess was worth as good as nothing; nothing would be an excuse good enough to keep a _perverted freak of nature_ in the famiglia. Not that he'd want to stay once they'd find out. Even if the kind-hearted juudaime could forgive him... everything would change. He was already picturing the world where everyone would avoid him anywhere he went, no one wanting to have any business with him, even the ones handing him mission information files keeping their distance and darting away at full speed after the delivery had been accomplished – _as if homosexuality would be a __contagious disease._

No, really, there was nothing to do about it apart from what he was already doing – putting all his efforts in hiding it.

A silent, nearly inaudible whisper escaped his barely parted lips in reply.

"Nothing."

Before he could say another word or lift his gaze to meet the fierce expression his infuriated sister bore, a slap landed on his left cheek.

His head involuntarily spun a quarter of a turn, and a red mark the distinguishable shape of a palm formed almost immediately. The scorching pain resembling a thousand of needles stabbing him repeatedly spread over the crimson-painted area over his cheek as he yelled at her

"What the hell was that for?"

However, his anger was no match against Bianchi's fury. She might have high tolerance, and tends not to show her wrath even when angered, but there are things she would not tolerate, and ignoring and abandoning love was one of them. Love, the most sacred of feelings, the purest of all longings – and yet, here, here own brother, was rejecting those pure and innocent feelings of finding perfect harmony with another human soul, and ditching his heart's desires entirely. No, that was certainly something Bianchi would not take. She might've been fighting her brother; but the truth was, she was fighting _for_ him, since he won't for himself.

"Stop feeling sorry for yourself and do something about it!"

Another utterly shocked gaze made her pause for a moment.

"Do you think I'm gonna sit still and watch my brother slowly tear his own heart to shreds? If it's love what you feel, then fight for it! Don't just sit here and brood over your pitifulness! Do something! Tell him what you feel, put your feelings into words and whisper them in his ear! Hold onto him and don't let him go!"

It took him a few seconds to realise he's been gaping with his mouth wide open at her, and probably looked like a runaway from a mental institute by now. Thus, he focused all his energy into first shutting his mouth close with a _clunk_ – while the words still echoed through his mind, his brain cells unable to work properly and comprehend the entirety of what he had just been told.

However, gradually, his mind would catch up, taking in bits and pieces of stored information one by one, and putting them together to complete the puzzle that dumbfounded the silver head. Not only his sister had not turned her back on him the moment the truth was revealed as he'd been expecting her to do; no, she didn't even hate him... All she had shown was absolute intolerance of him _not pursuing his hearts' desires, however _wrong _and _unnatural_ they may be... _She was actually _concerned_, and even _encouraged _him to take action towards his beloved one, regardless of his gender...

"A-aneki..."

The rest of the scene should probably remain unrevealed for the sake of mental health of everyone knowing Hayato Gokudera as the intimidating storm guardian with the unbreakable mask of a troublesome teen, who had never ever shown as much as a shred of feelings other than his unrivaled loyalty towards his boss. Those who wish to retain their sanity should avert their gaze now, for the normally wrathful emerald pools that now looked up towards his sister in awe were wide open and veiled with the salt liquid he had so rarely let to see the light of the day, now overflowing abundantly over the bridges of his eyelids; the strong, decisive lines of his face were softened to the limit of non-recognition when compared to the delinquent-looking teen that managed to enchant the half of the female population of Nami Middle that wasn't after Yamamoto; and his perfect façade that kept him safe from the world for so long now utterly shattered, his face exhibiting all the emotions he had bottled up inside until now by hiding and suppressing them.

Never once had anyone witnessed that much emotion heaped up on the face of Gokudera Hayato.

The fuchsia-haired female smiled soothingly, and leaned forward, suddenly throwing her delicate porcelain-like arms around the troubled teen. She hugged him affectionately, one of the rare moments she exhibited the strong bond she felt they shared as siblings. After all, she _was_ his elder sister.

He, no longer being able to be taken by surprise, buried his face in the silky-soft hair that spread over her shoulder and let his sister comfort him. A silent whisper reached his ears, and he took it all in, etching the words she said into his mind as if they were laws, or rather, the words of a god.

"Love is nothing to be ashamed of, Hayato.

Love is pure... love is innocent... some might judge you, but know, my brother, that those live in utter ignorance. They do not know the way of the heart...

Tell him, Hayato. Tell him everything. Show him, if you can't tell him. He deserves to know... and you deserve to show those feelings... to live and love freely... you deserve to release those shackles holding you back...

Hayato, don't deny your love, don't refuse your heart the longing... I'll be always there for you, see?... and I'm certain that everyone feels the same... because we love you for who you are, not for whom you love...

Don't worry... just fight for you love... don't you let him go..."

They probably stayed like that for an hour or so, until the slight sobbing of the silver-mane teen ceased, and his tired eyes once again resembled the depths of a clear mountain stream. It was already past midnight when Bianchi left, and Hayato was left alone again, although feeling better, but still with a mind full of contradicting thoughts.

The dark insomniac rings beneath his eyes only seeped deeper by morning, another sleepless night added to the record.

* * *

Okay, I know I've been dragging this emo-angsty stuff for six chapters now, but I promise this is the last one – I hereby solemnly swear that I am up to no good in the next chapter, meaning we finally get some _action_ (read: fluff). I have to say I really loved writing this chapter, though; not only I slipped a bit of a more serious undertone in the writing, tackling the prejudices and stereotypes of the modern world, I feel like I can really get into Gokudera's character, and Bianchi is ass-kickingly awesome :3 She's one of the rare characters that deserve a role in this fic because they're awesome like that, and you probably already know who the other one will be (hints for both Bianchi and him are in the last paragraph of ch 4).

Before I stop talking meaningless stuff (seems I'm quite in the talkative mood today), let me thank again my lovely reviewers – you guys really keep me going and wanting to write the best I can.


	7. Pillows Don't Talk

Yay, chapter seven! Ugh, finally. This one really took me ages to come up with. Although I knew exactly what I was going to write from the very beginning, but then ideas started to popping up in my head, ideas that I just could not ignore, and therefore had to adapt the original story... so yeah, it took nearly a week of ideas, and two evenings of writing, and I'm still not quite satisfied, especially with the first part. *sigh* Well, if I start editing that stuff, it's only gonna get more confused and incoherent, so I decided to keep it like this. Hope you like it better than I do.

The lyrics used are the words of Another Day in Quicksand by In Flames. Disclaimer applied.

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Pillows Don't Talk**

_...normally._

_

* * *

_

_The other side of the platinum door_

The front door of his house creaked slightly as he opened it. He'll have to oil the hinges later.

_another day in quicksand_

The asphalt under his feet felt like it could give away any moment as he made his way over the narrow path to the street.

_Still feel close to nowhere  
I hope this is the right way  
_

His mind paid no attention to where he was going; he trusted his feet to know the way to the juudaime's house and then to school.

A super-hyperactive Yamamoto nearly bumped into him on the way. Again. Dismissed with a morning greeting and a casual insult, the yakyuu-baka strode the rest of the way next to him in silence.

_How come you see me as an enemy?  
We just think in different words  
_

Was he hurt now? But he seemed surprised and disappointed yesterday, when no invectives were flung at him. And yet... no, it wasn't possible for him to know the meaning of being treated that way, the true meaning behind his words.

_I see beauty in dead flowers  
I let the tide show me what's next  
But all you do is fade away  
_

He had to struggle real hard to keep a hold on reality. After all, he hadn't slept for two days now. It seemed like everything around him was fading away, fading until he blinked and made sure it was real.

_There's no shame in being the fool_

_I've been to places you'll never find_

Yakyuu-baka... yes, he was still a yakyuu-baka... but that wasn't necessarily bad. He loved him for what he was; he loved him for being an airhead, a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, or just playing the fool because it was his way of facing things.

_The empty plate that you call home  
Won't bring glimmer to future years  
_

He twitched a bit when he remembered the Yamamoto of the future. Sure, he was amazingly strong and admirably skilled, but... but those eyes filled with the pain of loss... Would he still able to face things with ignorant pretence...? Was he still the same, the one he loved and cherished in secrecy?

_By myself, staring into space  
You're just bored of the silence it makes_

The silence stretched between them heavily as they walked. It was not a pleasant silence, though. It was the kind of silence that weighed down and lay heavily burdening their shoulders, pressing down and lowering their already near-bottom spirits. The way to the Sawada household was never before that long.

Exactly as the day before, Gokudera managed to put up a façade of his normal self just in time before facing Tsuna – however, his mask was now even less convincing and even the tenth generation Vongola boss could see that was not how he truly felt. Even so, he did not dare ask directly; he knew that if it was anything of his concern, his friend would let him know when he'll be ready – otherwise, he'll struggle to solve it all by himself, just like he always did. The juudaime merely hoped that the bomber would learn to rely more on the family soon.

Yamamoto, on the other side, kept throwing worried glances over to the silver-head anytime he dared to steal a look. He, as well, would not ask directly – at least not just yet, and not in front of everyone. Even though, by the time they passed a bunch of freshmen he'd normally threatened to blow up because they were obstructing the juudaime's path, nearly everyone knew very well that something was not right – for the intimidating teen had not even bothered to say a single word, and even curved the traverse of his path to avoid one of them.

The baseball freak sighed in disdain. He was still blaming himself for Gokudera's current state, as he had not witnessed anything else that could have upset him... but he couldn't think of a way to make it right again. Of course, he knew he was most likely never to have him, but at least he had him as a friend until now; even if it looked like more of a one-sided relationship, the storm guardian proved otherwise in a few very, very rare moments.

Walking beside each other, and yet entire universes away, they reached the school gate – just in time, or so it seemed. A few steps away they were when they realised the bell was going to ring anytime now – and darted towards the school entrance. Yamamoto and Gokudera, both agile and fast-reacting, managed to get past the door just in time, while Tsuna stepped on his untied shoelace and tripped spectacularly, burying his nose in the asphalt right in front of the school entrance.

And as if that itself wasn't enough, Hibari Kyouya decided to make his entrance to the scene at that exact time.

A satisfied smile curled his lips slightly, making him look even more threatening than normally. No, it wasn't a good thing if Hibari Kyouya smiled. Especially not if you have just broken a few school rules and regulations.

"You're late, herbivore."

The scaredy-cat Tsuna started retreating backwards, at the same time crying out: "Aaah, I'm so sorry, Hibari-san, it won't happen again, please don't bite me to death!"

His two companions chose wisely to remain silent until the shadow king of Namimori declares his righteous punishment.

"Hm?"

He sounded satisfied, all to satisfied.

"Sawada Tsunayoshi, you are in breach of the second article of the rule #23 of Namimori Middle School Rules and Regulation. Your punishment will take place during lunchtime in the school gym."

With that said, he walked away, leaving the three frozen in silence for a few seconds before they made their way to the classroom hastily. Really, they were all surprised at how Tsuna was let off with such a light punishment – mopping the gym floor during lunchtime was the least...

_No one ever considered the possibility that the chairman of the Disciplinary Committee merely wanted him out of the way – for what egoistic purpose would that serve, after all?_

_

* * *

_

The classes passed rapidly, with none of the three being able to concentrate on the lessons – Gokudera's head was already way too filled with thoughts and words, Yamamoto kept stealing worried gazes towards him, and Tsuna could never understand exactly what the teacher was saying anyway. Before they knew it, it was lunchtime already, and Tsuna waved them a hasty good-bye as he darted towards the gym, panicking about the possible penalties he'd receive if he would happen to be late for the execution of his punishment.

"So, eh, Gokudera, wanna eat together? We can go to the rooftop, it's really nice and-"

"Whatever."

Yamamoto was taken aback as Gokudera cut him off nonchalantly, and even more surprised when he actually followed him to the rooftop without complaints. Of course, he regarded the absence of Tsuna as an ideal chance for him to be alone with the storm guardian, and maybe, maybe even find out what was bothering him, but he truly did not expect it to go so smoothly...

However, everything merely confirmed his concerns that something was truly troubling the silver-haired teen to no end – he ate the offered sushi his father prepared without a single complaint (as always, more than enough for two or even three people), and didn't waste his breath for a single insult. But as much as it worried him, it eased his consciousness and lifted his hopes that maybe after all he had not absolutely destroyed their friendship.

He kept smiling and laughing, twice as much as he would normally – after all, he had to smile for Gokudera as well.

Even though his schoolmate kept silent most of the time, it wasn't the same silence that stretched between them in the morning – no, this was different; it was a calm, soothing silence that somehow connected them without a single word uttered.

With their meal finished, they had nothing to do but relax and wait till the end of the lunch break. The light breeze gently swept lonesome strands of their hair into air, while the late spring sun heat made them all drowsy – and so it was that Gokudera decided to sleep.

Without a warning, he let his upper body fall, leaning against his raven-haired classmate's chest, earning a surprised gasp from his newly found cushion. He moved a bit, left and right, searching for the best pose, like a cat that would seek its sleeping place in a man's lap. His emerald eyes were long closed, and as his head tilted to the side, against the baseball ace's shoulder, it seemed like he was already asleep.

"G-Gokudera..?"

Yamamoto panicked.

Totally panicked.

Gokudera leaning against him, almost sleeping in his lap – there was no way that would ever happen in reality! But he wasn't dreaming. No, that was for certain.

Then... he must've been drugged! Was that why he was behaving so oddly...? But he didn't seem like a drugged person... Although, Takeshi couldn't really tell, since he never saw a drugged person before.

"Um, Gokudera?" he tried again.

The addressed grunted. Obviously, the cat was not yet quite asleep.

"Shut up. I haven't slept for two days."

So he wasn't drugged after all, just insomniac? Ah, he really had dark circles under his eyes, now that he mentioned... Truly, despite the worrisome content, the answer made Yamamoto somewhat relieved.

"Besides, pillows don't talk."

The baseball ace smiled happily at the retort. It seemed that his friend was still enough of himself to come up with something to shut him up. And, if he wasn't drugged, and if he wasn't unaware of his actions and surroundings... well, then, it wouldn't be exploitation of a helpless man if he just stayed where he was, would it be?

Familiar warmth spread through his body as he listened to the even breathing of now-so-much-cat-alike Gokudera, and he cautiously, careful not to wake up the delicate more-or-less-Italian placed his arms around him protectively. He had him exactly where he wanted to, although the circumstances weren't exactly what he had expected – but nothing changed the fact that he could hardly be happier at this moment.

* * *

At the same time, the tenth generation Vongola boss was willowing in despair over the lacquered floor of the Namimori Middle gym. He really needed to change his habits; waking up too late, chasing Lambo all over the house to get his breakfast back, only to have it snatched from right under his nose by Reborn, and then running halfway towards the school... That was one unhealthy way of living. But after all, this whole mafia business was.

"Herbivore, have I permitted you to take a break?"

A threatening voice from above reminded him of his task, and he hurried back to mopping the floor spotless clean, as he was ordered. He might've been the Boss, and Hibari-san one of his Guardians, but as long as they were on his territory, Hibari was the law. No one defies Hibari Kyouya and stays alive.

The above mentioned prefect had been enjoying his lunch break several floors higher, on the shelf of one of the open windows just beneath the gym's ceiling. With the wind ruffling his hair, and the tiny sunshine-yellow birdie perched safely on his shoulder, he looked like a depiction of an exotic god of wind or something among those lines. A curious glint was in his eyes, perfectly complementing the naughty smile dancing on his lips.

His ears might've been paying attention to the unfortunate victim of his experiment, ensuring that the _swish-swish-mop-mop_ did not cease, while his gaze was locked on the rooftop of the central building of his beloved school.

As always, he had been pulling strings, and as always, the results pleased and amused him even better than expected.

* * *

As the bell rang, Yamamoto knew his ten minutes of heaven were over. The break ended, and the next period was science – the test that they all feared, well, all except the one he was currently holding in his arms. He liked the thought; and yet, knew well enough that he'd have to interrupt the sleeping beauty's slumber.

Cautious as always, he unclenched the embrace before attempting to wake up the sleeping silver-head; if the bomber woke up in a mood closer to his normal self, he was in for a beating for taking advantage of a sleeping man incapable of defending himself anyway, and he surely won't do anything to make it worse.

Slowly, he started to nudge the smaller man.

"Gokudera... Gokudera, you have to wake up now..."

"Nnghh... five minutes more..."

_He's like a child..._ The generously tanned guardian smiled at the lithe posture of the teen curled up against his chest. He surely made him want to hold him and never let him go, and that was the most _decent_ of his thoughts when he traced the curves of his lean body.

"Oi, Gokudera, you really have to wake up, we're having a test now, we can't skip-"

"Shut up."

Yamamoto was about to protest, and go on how they really cannot skip this period since they're writing a test, as his futile attempts to object ended in a muffled "-nngh" as Gokudera rotated, pushing himself up in his lap to position himself more comfortably, subconsciously pressing against a certain rather sensitive spot on the baseball ace's body.

The storm guardian seemed to have fallen asleep once again, and Yamamoto gave up hesitantly, yet with a smile. It seemed fate had blessed him with a double dose of happiness, and he started thinking that maybe, maybe even... Gokudera _actually liked_ being held by him... at least he looked like he was rather comfortable, the faintest of smiles tugging on his lips as he kept on napping in the sun.

It seemed that even Hibari strangely disappeared somewhere; for normally, he would be the one on the roof at this time, and anyone not in class would be on their way to get bitten to death by one or both of his tonfas, depending on how resistant they'd prove to be.

Hours passed, the bell rang again and again, while Gokudera slept soundly, cuddled in Yamamoto's lap, cradled in a safe embrace of his muscular arms, leaning against his chest – it was as if they were made to be that way, like they fit together like two blocks of Lego, two pieces of a jigsaw; every single limb has its place where it fit perfectly.

Even Yamamoto fell asleep after a while, drowsy from the warm sun and tired from constant practice he had been undergoing lately – and they slept, entangled with each other in a perfectly fitting embrace, for hours motionlessly on the rooftop.

It wasn't until five in the afternoon that they woke up.

The first one to regain consciousness was Yamamoto; his first thought was that he just missed his baseball practice, and the second, that came together with the realisation whom it was he held in his arms, was that he didn't care at all.

Less than a minute afterwards, as if he had sensed his pillow's breathing had abandoned its even pace of shallow breaths, the silver-haired bomber that was now far from intimidating, opened his jade eyes, still hazy from sleep, and looked up at his amber-eyed mattress.

He froze in place. It took him several moments to realise what happened, and even when he did, he couldn't avert his gaze. He had never been so close to the sun-kissed face before, and the wide pools of soothing warmth locked him in place like a spell. The words his sister said to him last night echoed through his mind; _show him how you feel, hold him close and never let him go_... And yet, he couldn't move a limb.

Behind those pools of amber, however, was just another uncertain teen fearing that his feelings would be rejected. But as a second passed, and yet another one, without Gokudera moving as much as a single muscle, his fears subsided. He wasn't hitting him, he wasn't resisting, he was just... staring at him. And not glaring; no, merely staring at him.

The raven-haired teen couldn't determine any feelings from his face; it was like a riddle to him. However, the mere half an inch between their faces soon erased his fears and concerns.

Actually, the tempting closeness erased mostly _everything_ from his mind.

Gokudera smelled slightly of nicotine, gunpowder and cats; somewhere beneath, he could sense the fragrance of orchid-scented soap, mixing with the whiffs of everything he passed that day, the most distinct of them his morning toast and coffee.

Staring in his jade eyes the depth of a hidden half-ice-covered mountain lake, he found himself dizzy as he kept losing himself in the spiral current that drew him deeper, closer...

Before he knew what he was doing, their lips connected.

Softly, gently, like he was asking for permission first, he covered the luscious lips of the part-Italian cradled in his arms.

He pictured this moment in his mind for a thousand times, and yet it still took him by surprise. The storm guardian's lips were soft and simply... perfect. It was like... it was like fireworks. Yes, like fireworks would blast off in the sky into thousands of breath-taking sparkles the moment their lips finally touched after such yearning for each other...

No sign of resistance, none of encouragement either.

One of his hands reached up to caress the porcelain-like chin, tracing the jawbone to the ear and onwards, fingers entangling into the silver strands of perfect silk, while he deepened the kiss in insatiable hunger for those savoury lips.

Gokudera tasted faintly of cinnamon, and of nicotine and coffee mixed into one addictive taste even a top-class chef of French cuisine would be proud of.

He still didn't seem to resist, and that was more than enough of encouragement for Yamamoto.

Hungrily, he nibbled his lower lip, and probed the hardly shut lips with his tongue, as if asking permission, a ticket to enter his mouth. Maybe a tad hesitantly, Gokudera complied, which was the first move he had made since he woke up. Slowly, he was getting a grip on his senses – it might've been easier if it wasn't for the intrusive tongue that explored the depths of his mouth, and played with his own lithe extremity that he soon, to his surprise, found rather responsive.

None of them was really thinking of what they were doing.

Maybe that could explain the expression of absolute shock that reigned over the storm guardian's face when his raven-haired classmate pulled back and grinned at him.

Maybe that could explain why the sunny smile etched on the rain guardian's face faded to a bitter grimace as soon as he noticed the shock of his beloved.

Maybe that could explain why he whispered the words he shouldn't have.

"I'm... sorry."

And maybe that could explain why the currently-so-uncharacteristically-gentle-looking bomber stood up, shouted "IDIOT!" and stormed away.

The former pillow, left behind lonesome on the rooftop of the deserted school, bathing in the afternoon light, left his head tilt forth in defeat.

"Now I really blew it, didn't I?"

He laughed, laughed like a madman, until his bitter laughs contorted into cries of pain.

* * *

To be continued~

Yes, I shall torture them a bit more. Nyahahahaha :3

Thank you for reading, reviews are much appreaciated. Also, if you feel that I strayed away or did a bat move /left out a good opportunity within the story, let me know, I'd be grateful for a constructive critique.


	8. The Elucidative Rain

New chapter... finally. *dies* Sorry it took so long, went on vacation and had a bit of a block, but luckily I woke up this morning with entire sentences formed in my head, and just went and wrote it out :P Here it is, hope you like it - the next chapter will be the last one!

* * *

**The Elucidative Rain**

_a.k.a. non-emo angst_

_

* * *

_

There would have been given quite a yelling, not to mention punishment for skipping class, if it wasn't for Gokudera's fearsome gaze that pierced the science teacher and rapidly convinced him that no disciplinary measures are to be taken. The baseball ace would have been truly grateful to the intimidating bomber – that is, if the same gaze wasn't directed at him every time their eyes met.

Yeah, if all the embarrassing events that accumulated lately weren't enough to make the silverette hate him, yesterday certainly did it. He hadn't received a word apart from the "tch" filled with despise, and the teen was continuously avoiding him. Yup, he really screwed up big time.

'_What was I thinking anyway?_

_Kissing him like that... as if the idiot me wouldn't comprehend it wasn't me whom he wanted...'_

It was clear, after all, that Gokudera Hayato, the storm guardian and the boss' right-hand-man only lived for the Juudaime, for the former no-good-Tsuna. No one except Tsuna had the privilege of seeing him smile, of making him chuckle with laughter, of hearing the true feelings he harboured...

And Yamamoto Takeshi, who could make any girl of Namimori middle (and possibly a few guys as well) fall for him with a single word and a smile, could do nothing about it.

Actually, he felt a bit ridiculous. With girls confessing to him on a daily basis, one would think he was the luckiest guy on Earth, and that he could make _any_one fall for him. Yes, _any_one he could make fall for him with that optimistic grin he always bore, the grin that Gokudera said made him look like an idiot. But, a certain _some_one he could not make fall for him... when it came to that certain _some_one, the _any_one principle didn't work at all, and he was bested by a guy that used to be the centre of mockery.

Ridiculous, and yet he was pretty certain that was the truth.

Even though... yesterday, he felt like _maybe_... like maybe Gokudera _didn't_ hate him, like maybe he even _enjoyed_ cuddling up against him...

The memories brought a faint blush to his face, and he buried his face deeper behind the textbook, hoping no one noticed, and leaving his luck to handle the possibility of him being called on right now.

He was an idiot, of course. Gokudera told him so many times, and yet he was still somewhat reluctant to believe (it)... naturally, he didn't consider himself to be on the brightest side, far from being such an intellectual as the silver headed bomber in the front row – but, he never considered himself stupid either. Well, not until now.

He couldn't really say he wasn't stupid after what happened yesterday. He sure was a blockhead not to get the obvious message that _'Gokudera liked Tsuna and not him and he was merely at hand and comfortable and Gokudera was exhausted and wasn't able to think clearly anyway so he just leaned onto the first half-comfortable thing at hand the fact that he kept calling him a pillow only proved that and he ignorantly took advantage of the helpless no calling him helpless would be a little too far but if he wasn't helpless then why didn't he react or push him away or whatever ah he was probably frozen solid by shock but he was all red in face when he yelled at me like he was blushing or something nah that was probably just a manifest of his anger but I've never seen him that angry to exhibit such a deep shade of tomato-red and I did apologize no actually he yelled at me only after I apologized damn I guess some things just can't be settled with an apology but why was he so flushed and out of breath and his heart I felt his heart beating against my chest before and it was going doki doki so fast and his lips were warm and soft and he didn't cooperate but he didn't resist really either was that just shock surely it was just shock but'_

"GAAAAH!"

The entire classroom turned around in unison as the school's baseball ace's scream of frustration accidentally left his lips and he banged his head against the desk. Well, the _nearly_ entire classroom. The only one that didn't seem to be affected by the sudden outburst was the very source of it (not quite knowing that, although the thought had crossed his mind), Gokudera Hayato, sitting in the front row with his feet placed leisurely on the desk, leaning backwards in his chair, ignoring the place and situation, dedicating his attention to matters more _worthy_ of it.

"Yamamoto, is something the matter?"

The teacher's question resounded ominously in his ears as he realised the situation he had just put himself in. _'Great, just what I needed right now...'_

And on top of that, it turned out he managed to cause himself a nosebleed when he head-desked. _'Just great.'_

Actually, on a second thought, it wasn't that bad. A nosebleed meant he could legally escape from the classroom, being sent to the school infirmary, and since the nurse was that perverted Shamal guy who doesn't treat men anyway, he'd be free to go in a matter of moments...

"Um, sensei, I'm bleeding a bit, may I be excused...?"

Naturally, no one could deny such a request, and when accompanied with an I'm-afraid-I-might-die-if-I-don't-get-this-treated-soon look, even the cold-hearted science teacher just waved his hand in dismissal, sending the bleeding student to the nurse's office.

Yamamoto strode quickly to the hallway, eager to get out as soon as possible. His head was screaming with thoughts that just couldn't stay inside peacefully, and he was afraid he might accidentally say something else than just _gah_, something more _meaningful_ even.

And that, he could not afford. Not because of his pride, or his reputation at Nami middle... no, he was worried about what it would bring to Gokudera. If he accidentally blurted out something actually eligible and comprehendible concerning his silver haired classmate, he'd probably go insane. Casualties and damage on school property were a certainty – but that wouldn't really bother him... he just didn't want to upset Gokudera about something like that... over his own idiocy.

To his surprise, he actually found himself striding into the infirmary. Shamal, luckily, wasn't there. Probably off skirt-hunting.

His nosebleed stopped in the meantime anyway, and he didn't need any medical treatment in the first place. The bleeding had stopped far before he even got close to the fatal room of seduction as the infirmary became known as of these days, and he merely used the room's comfort to wash his face clean, then strode straight out of school. Fearless, or rather due to his current condition, oblivious of a certain Disciplinary Committee head's potential wrath at his breaking of school regulations, he exited the school premises already lightly trotting, and to his luck (though he would probably give credit to his gut feeling), Hibari Kyouya was nowhere to be seen.

He let his feet guide him wherever they may. He didn't want to be bothered by thinking where to go to, he had more than enough to think about, and he couldn't just go home, given that he was pretty much skipping school. Besides, their family restaurant had never been a good place to think – _Gokudera would say that it shows if he were here..._

Suddenly, he heard the sound of grinding gravel. Wondering where that might be coming from, he looked around, and found himself to be the source of the noise. Unknowingly, he had strayed into the park where he, Lambo, I-Pin and... Gokudera had played while the others were visiting their homes in the future.

He smiled softly, though bitterly at the memory. The future. What did it hold for him? What did it hold for _them_...?

They've seen a part of it, learned of their future power and the influence of their famiglia, and ensured a safe future for all of them. Or at least Byakuran-free, safety was debatable. But he couldn't help but wonder... What kind of a relationship _did_ the future Storm and Rain have...? Gokudera and Tsuna were the only ones that have seen his future self, and Tsuna the only one that saw Gokudera as he was ten years later. None of them mentioned anything, and if he tried asking, it would just look suspicious...

He would just have to wait then. Since when did Yamamoto Takeshi ever worry about the future anyway?

However...

...the future that they experienced together... those were his favourite memories.

The first time Gokudera let him fight alongside him. They both said things they shouldn't have, yelled at each other and failed miserably. But still... Gokudera opened himself up towards Yamamoto a bit, let a single layer of his shell-like armour down and accepted him as a fellow fighter. He was happy.

And in the Melone base, when the walls and hallways started to move and shift, he... he actually reached out for the baseball ace, crying out his name and telling him to grab onto his hand. Yamamoto knew it was too late, and that there was no way Gokudera could pull both him and Lal Mirch through the rapidly narrowing space between the two moving blocks in time, but he was happy. Gokudera cared.

Not wanting to visit his home, knowing of his father's death, he took Lambo and I-Pin to play in the park. He was pretty sure Gokudera had nowhere to visit as well... after all, what was his place? A tiny rented house identical to its neighbours, one of a fifty soulless buildings that lined the street. Nothing a man could get attached to, and he was living alone as well. He knew they were all aware of that blatant fact; he knew they both knew it when he asked if he wanted to come along with them. And yet, he refused. Not that it was unexpected; no, he knew Gokudera Hayato all too well – but it was undeniable that their relationship _had_ developed, and he kinda hoped... He thought that maybe he now the bomber considered him friend, but his reluctance to join them didn't show the acceptance he hoped for. Ha, was he happy when the silverette appeared out of nowhere to join them!

Could Gokudera... _like_ his company...?

Sitting on the top of the slide, he let himself drown in memories, emotions and thoughts.

It did not occur to him that it was strange that the park was empty, that no child voices could be heard on the playground, and that no one bothered him to get off the slide. Well, not until he was soaking wet from the rain.

When his now half-transparent clothes stuck to him like glue, it was rather inevitable that he would realise that it was raining. Had been raining for the last three hours. Pouring down almost.

The raven-haired teen laughed at his own stupidity.

He laughed, laughed until it hurt and he had to wrap his arms around his abdomen.

Then, he cried.

Cried for what he thought was lost,

cried for what he believed could never be,

cried for everything that he had done wrong.

But above everything, one thing was bothering him and driving him insane. He had lied to Gokudera.

He thought it was for the best, he thought he was merely avoiding further conflict, he thought he could make it right with those words – but that didn't change the unbearable fact that he had lied to him.

He wasn't sorry. Not even in the faintest shade of the word's meaning. He fully and truly enjoyed every second his lips were imposing themselves on Gokudera's; he revelled in pleasure every second of his tongue exploring the other male's mouth. He did regret the consequences, the aftermath of his reckless actions, but he wasn't sorry.

Before he knew, his feet were moving again. This time, he was not wandering. This time, he was going _some_where, not just _any_where. This time, he had a purpose, and his feet knew exactly where to guide him as they paved the sidewalk with confident steps.

It was only a short stride to his house, although it seemed like eternity, eternity accompanied with the melodic splatter of raindrops against his shoulders and splashes under his shoes. Now finally, he was here, hand reaching for the doorbell, pressing it in two short rings.

_Bzzt bzzt_

He could feel the footsteps from within vibrating and resonating through the building's weak structure, and hear the constant uninterrupted flow of Italian curses as the only resident made his way towards the door, opening them violently, sporting a threatening gaze and already opening his mouth to shout something along the lines 'what the hell do you want' when he froze in place at the sight before him.

Yamamoto.

At his doorstep.

Soaking wet.

Clothes half-transparent and sticking closely to the figure of his body.

'_Che, he could just as well be naked, wouldn't make much difference.'_

_

* * *

Beta reader's commentary: '_I like Goku's mind-flow :3 All in favor say "Aye!" (and the whole fandom screams their guts out)' 


	9. Gravity Strikes Back

Before you, my beloved readers, is the final chapter of this story. I had truly enjoyed writing this, from the first chapters that were the first fanfiction I ever wrote, to the last ones where I worked to develop my style and explore feelings and details even more in-depth. First, I have a big thanks to give to my beta, BadAyka, for pointing out my silly mistakes, her advices and helpful suggestions as well as for nagging me to finish; and, last but not least, for her fangirling comments that always made me smile.

My second thanks goes to all of you out there that have taken the time to read this story; especially to those that bothered to drop me a comment. Also special thanks to _alquien22792_ for reviewing almost every single chapter; a comment or two always make me feel appreciated and drive me to complete the next chapter faster because I know someone's waiting for it to come.

Before I let you enjoy the last act, I would like to bother you all with another thing. I have been considering to write an M rated (smutty) sequel to this, but I'm not sure whether I should or not, and especially if it continues from the moment this one ends, it would be waaaay too irrealistic (and I kinda attempted to make the feelings/problems/storyline a bit more realistic than they normally are in shounen-ai fanfics, even though I'm afraid I kinda failed at that, at least in the end). Well, I'd love to know your thoughts on this matter (M rated sequel or not), so if you have time, please drop me a comment. Also, I kindly invite you to have a look at my other stories :3

Story in three... two... one...

* * *

**Gravity Strikes Back**

* * *

Gokudera blinked twice, as if trying to clear inexistent dust out of his eyes. And yet, the image before him did not change a single bit.

Nothing could change the fact that Yamamoto Takeshi, the Rain guardian of the Vongola, the Nami middle school baseball ace, was standing before him, on his doorstep, with fingers still lightly touching the doorbell button. However, he didn't look like the normal Yamamoto Takeshi, the tanned raven-haired teen with a smile curving his lips, the smile that had always brought sunshine in Gokudera's dark and lonesome world.

Of course, he was wet to the bone, but that was nothing too new. He was no less soaked when he emerged out of that "fishtank of death" after his ring battle, and he was bloody all over on top of that, not to mention the threatening wound over his eye – and yet, he still looked more like himself on that day than right now.

For, at this moment, he was a mere shadow of himself. The Storm had never seen his fellow guardian so humanly broken – haunted by his own thoughts to the limit where he was unable to smile at all.

The rain trickled down his hair, flowed over his face whilst washing away the salty tears, leaving the only remnant of the fact that he had been crying his bloodshot eyes; the water poured in a single thin stream down from his chin, splashing over his clothes and shoes and over the ground, the drops splattering everywhere as they made impact. The proud swordsman stance he normally bore was nowhere to be seen, and his straight muscular back was as if broken; but the worst were his eyes. Downcast and empty was his gaze; no gleam in his pupils, no shine in his irises – he was like a still doll, all emotion gone apart from a strange twinge of unspoken pain.

Actually, he remembered now that he had seen him like that before; however, that was the rain guardian of the future, the Yamamoto of ten years later, the one that watched their boss get shot to death and suffered the loss of his father – and yet, the pained look in the eyes that would join the rest of the face in a cheerful smile no more was the same as the teen before him bore now.

Truth be told, he was scared; had anything happened to Yamamoto? After all, he hadn't seen a trace of his schoolmate since he darted out of the classroom with his self-inflicted nosebleed. But then, why would he come to see Gokudera? If anything happened this afternoon, then it was none of his business, and if he had some sort of problems, he'd better consult a more sociable person than him, after all, the baseball ace surely had more suitable friends to talk to and solve problems with... unless... unless his problem had something to do with the bomber that just answered the door.

Gokudera didn't like that.

Somehow, it seemed that _he_ of all people was, at least partially, in some way, the reason or at least a factor in the equation that led to the reason for those eyes.

He didn't like that look in his eyes.

Those pools of melted dark chocolate are meant to be smiling, shining with brilliance, almost blinding to the eye, overflowing with optimism...

Those eyes are not supposed to look like _this_.

"I..."

Yamamoto's struggle with words brought him back to reality and reminded him of the fact that they have been standing on his doorstep silently, gazing at each other for far longer than anyone could possibly deem normal. He shouldn't have let his mind stray like this.

He waited for a few seconds for his schoolmate to continue, but he went silent.

It was uncomfortable, pressing. The unfinished sentence hung between them heavily as the silence stretched. The surroundings weren't helping either, given that it was already dark and most of the decent people had already snuggled themselves on their couches and sofas, spending a cosy evening at home.

"You plan on saying something or are you gonna stand here on the rain all night? 'Cause I don't intend on getting all soaking wet just like-"

"I'm not sorry."

His annoyed rant was cut off by a voice that sounded only distantly similar to Yamamoto's. It was cracked, but serious and determined. He had made up his mind to say it, to let his _friend_ know, and it showed in his voice and as well as in the expression that was etched on his face now as he looked up to meet the silverette's gaze finally.

"I'm not sorry."

Gokudera blinked twice – for the second time this evening.

"What did you just say?"

He merely managed to utter those words, still half-recovering from the shock of what he had just heard – the words he actually longed to hear, but never expected the baseball idiot to get this far, mean them and say them. He hadn't really expected him to get the clue, to understand that saying _'I'm sorry' _just ruined everything, to understand that he _didn't_ _want him to be sorry_. It was like his hopes and dreams crashed down on him in the form of this hopeless sword-wielding baseball fanatic standing soaking wet in front of him.

'_Then, if this was the reason for this look in his eyes..._

_...I'll just have to make it disappear, right?'_

Yamamoto looked at the once intimidating bomber, slowly taking in his reaction. It seemed he was shaken by his words, but not in a bad way... he _wanted_ him to _repeat_ what he said...

He'll just have to make himself clear, then.

"I came here to tell you that I am not sorry.

I don't regret what I did yesterday... I said I was sorry, but actually I wasn't.

I know I wasn't supposed to do something like that, I know that I shouldn't have feelings like this, and I know very well that I would do better to keep them for myself.

But... I just can't.

I'm not sorry that I kissed you. Gokudera Hayato, I..."

His voice died away as he listened to himself and reflected on his own words. It sounded pathetic. He had been told on numerous occasions he was an idiot, and he grew to accept that he was not the brightest tool in the shed, but _this_... this was just pathetic.

To think he could actually say it. And now, he blurted out most of the embarrassing stuff he meant to say, and froze before the last two words were spoken.

He averted his gaze, examining the grass on the side, even though he hardly saw anything in the dusk. All of a sudden, the young, nearly freshly-mown grass seemed extremely attractive and worth of his complete attention.

'_...love you.'_

In the end, he couldn't say it. Not that he hadn't expected as much, but it still surprised him – he could be straightforward when it came to his feelings, easily telling his friends how he felt around them, and explaining his emotions to girls that came confessing to him without a problem; but when it came to Gokudera, it was as if everything was turned upside down. In the end, he couldn't even convey his feelings to him; although, with his level of intelligence, it shouldn't be too hard to figure out what he _almost_ said.

His arms fell limply at his sides, his shoulders down in defeat, his head bent. He waited. Waited to get yelled at, hit and kicked, and lastly blasted away by dynamite.

But nothing happened.

Even as he waited longer, he could hear nothing and feel nothing; Gokudera didn't move at all. He didn't reject him, didn't yell at him, didn't threaten him or made the previous threats about shoving dynamite down his throat reality; and he didn't leave either. He just kept standing where he was.

He was waiting as well.

He was waiting for the baseball ace that just _nearly_ confessed to him to look up.

He was willing to wait as long as it would take for him to recompose himself and face him.

He was waiting for that moment, to show him something that only a selected few in his life ever had the privilege to see.

Yamamoto was confused. Nothing went as he expected it would. He thought he'd get here, spit out everything he had to say and ease his heart, then get yelled at and beaten a bit, and well, maybe that would knock some sense into his head. But nothing went as expected. However, he somehow managed to get most of what he had to say out, at least he thought so, and maybe it even made some sense, well at least it seemed that Gokudera did get it, he _was _the most intelligent person he knew... And now, the final act just wouldn't come.

Why...? Why wouldn't he yell at him like he always did...?

Slowly, he lifted his head, bringing the storm guardian back in focus. His eyes, hazed with confusion, danced across his beloved's face, looking for a reaction, expecting the normal outburst of rage.

And Gokudera...

..._smiled_.

It was a soft, gentle smile; his lips merely curved a little in a slight parabola. But along with them, his always-furrowed eyebrows relaxed, the line of his lower jaw that was normally pushed forwards as much as possible to look intimidating softened and pulled back, and the corners of his eyes rose a bit, drawing slight creases around them. It was as if he smiled in his entirety, as if his very soul surfaced from the innumerable layers of protective shell and smiled; and to Yamamoto before him, it was as if the entire world smiled at him widely, and stars danced around him in an iridescent swirl. It was his turn now to blink twice, testing if this truly was reality or just his imagination.

But before he could make sure of that, he found himself nose to nose with Gokudera, and a fist clenched tightly on the collar of his shirt, pulling their faces dangerously close.

"That's good then,"

was the silver-haired teen's reply to the incomplete confession; a reply that only made Yamamoto's eyes widen only further.

No, he was definitely and surely not expecting this even in his wildest dreams. That meant... it _had_ to be reality.

The stronger of the two guardians, the one hardly worth of that name right now, weakened by the bliss of love to the point where his knees were dangerously close to giving in to gravity, was yanked forth by the smaller one, literally dragged into the house by his shirt. Gokudera, ignoring, or more precisely, not even for a second considering the damage he might inflict to the teen before him, bashed him against the wall while he slammed the door close behind them with his leg. Not even giving the baseball ace the time to catch his breath after knocking the wind out of him, he crashed their lips together in a long-awaited kiss.

To say that Yamamoto was shocked would be fairly understated; after all, he was normally the one trying to friendly hug Gokudera while the bomber pushed him away while spitting insults like hot lava, occasionally even adding a rock or two – not always just figuratively. However, within a moment or two, he was far too busy to be shocked; as a matter of fact, he was far too busy to be able to process any thought whatsoever, as his mind wasn't even remotely working properly.

After the initial assault on his lips that could – apart from the insatiable need that throbbed through their veins with every heartbeat – show their lack of experience, the Storm claimed all his being at once, not able to fight back the feelings he had been forcefully suppressing until now. He was close, so close, leaning onto him and pressing him against the wall, and yet he still felt as if a chasm gaped between them; he just couldn't get enough of the proximity, of the same thing he had always shunned and rejected; of that warmth of another human body touching him in as many places as possible, of the savoury lips tangled in a passionate dance with his own, of strong arms that slid over his shoulders and down his back to hold him closer even though that shouldn't have been physically possible.

There were no regrets now, on either side; both have come to terms with their feelings and faced each other – what was left was only satiating their desire, attempting to ease the bittersweet longing for the other that had permeated every moment of their existence since the first days of their awkward friendship.

Both flustered and on the edge of turning purple, they were forced to part for a few moments to catch their breaths; it was hard to tell which one of them was more reluctant to let go, and their lips parted with a soft promise of return. Gokudera's gaze shot up to meet Yamamoto's for a moment, the emerald orbs lighting up at the sight that awaited him – the pools of melted milk chocolate were devoid of any signs of pain and sadness they bore before, and through the haze of lust they glistened slightly with eager anticipation.

The silverette leaned in again, this time the tanned teen met him halfway, quick to decrease the distance that separated them. The second kiss was calmer, softer, more controlled; while they were driven by the pure urge to touch, to taste, to devour before, they were savouring every second of the intense dance now.

Yamamoto decided to push his luck a bit, and almost repeating the events of the day before, he licked his partner's lips gently, as if asking for permission, for the entry pass. Just as before on the rooftop, the permission was granted, however with much more than a subtle difference in location; while before, his classmate was just a passive recipient, he was now as eager and thirsty for more just as the baseball ace was. Their tongues met halfway, hesitantly touching at first, before slowly commencing a passionate dance, determined to explore every single square millimetre of each other.

A low moan escaped Gokudera's throat – a sound he would never forgive himself for making, but he never had the time to scold himself for that; the vibrations caused by the sound, that now spread over his, or better said _their_ throat, jaw, tongue and lips were a sensation that literally froze his brain.

It was like on the eve of the Tanabata festival, only the fireworks exploded merely in their minds, the sight no less majestic notwithstanding. Blasts of red and green and blue and silver and purple and gold flames spread into forms distantly reminiscent of the most exquisite flowers, while the cheerful noise of the sparkles numbed their senses of everything outside of the bubble where only the two of them existed.

Having restrained themselves for so long, they could not get enough of each other once the shackles holding them back were broken. Their hands found the way on their own, tracing the curves of the two teens' well-trained muscles, claiming what they longed for, tracing paths over what never seemed even distantly likely to be under their fingertips.

Yamamoto squint an eye open, and peeked over the room, rapidly scanning the surroundings. He didn't need a clear mind to tell that the cushioned sofa in the middle of the living room would provide much more comfort, and he slowly began to move, directing the unsuspecting Gokudera towards his goal. He made sure to keep the bomber occupied enough to remain distracted, carefully preventing him to notice where their movement was leading to, for he was certain that the fragile yet fierce teen before him would struggle in defiance, had he known the baseball ace's plan.

Just as they reached the sofa, the silverette's eyes shot open in surprise as the back of his knees touched the armrest of the sofa – but it was too late already. In a split second, he felt his body falling back; Yamamoto had pushed them both in a reckless free fall, resulting in them colliding on top of each other, the impact lessened by the soft cushions of the sofa. As one heated body collapsed on top of the other, their hips grinded together, causing both to tense in unexpected pleasure.

While Yamamoto showed no reaction apart from the blatantly obvious lack of self-restraint, clearly evident not only in his actions but also in his eyes hazed with lust, Gokudera on the other side blushed wildly, exhibiting the deepest shades of crimson on his cheeks, and yelled half-heartedly at the taller teen above him.

"OI, wha-what are you doi-"

He was silenced with another kiss while the rain guardian locked him in place on the sofa, cutting off his escape – not that he wanted to escape, actually, even though he struggled a few futile attempts to free himself. He could feel the lips against his curl up as Yamamoto smiled into the kiss, and sent vibrations through his body as he replied in a silent seductive purr:

"Blame it on gravity."


End file.
